Yes, I’m very interested in your amazing offer. If you are reading this, it’s probably because I replied to your spam email with this link.
Yes, your email was spam. You probably have a disclaimer saying “This email is not spam, we found your email address on the web”, or “This email is not spam, we replied to the contact form on your website”. That is of course utter nonsense. “Spam” is the colloquial word for Unsolicited Commercial Email. As I didn’t ask for it, that makes it unsolicited, and as you’re trying to sell me your shit, that makes it commercial.
Now you’re probably going to say that what you are trying to sell me isn’t shit. I disagree. I run multiple sites, so I get your spam multiple times daily. You are either trying to sell me SEO services, or services to grow my Instagram account. And you call yourself a marketing expert. Let me ask you this: If you’re such a great expert at SEO, does it make any sense at all that you need to spam random people? Shouldn’t people be finding you at the top position of Google?
As for growing my Instagram account: thank you very much, but I’d rather grow it organically by offering content that is interesting to my clients, than paying someone to spam Instagram with inane comments on unrelated Instagram accounts.
Increasingly I also get emails from people trying to sell me the stuff I’m already selling online. I don’t even really know what to say about that, it’s just too stupid to actually give an intelligent response to. Then there are the idiots who try to sell me viagra, luxury cars, dating site subscriptions or crypto-currencies. For you marketing geniuses I have one word: targeting.
For those of you who say that I am receiving your email because I subscribed, or because I have purchased something from you in the past: Do you seriously think I will do business with you when you start off the relationship by telling lies?
Now seeing that most of you don’t even seem to have websites, there is no way to find your email-addresses online by using the same email-sniffers that you use. So to thank you for all the emails offering services that I’m entirely not interested in, I am adding your email address to the list below. In this way, your email sniffers will add them to your databases and you can all merrily spam each other as well. You’re welcome!
With great gratitude to:
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